Why Staying Slim Is No Piece Of Cake

Sun Herald

Sunday September 25, 2005

MIA FREEDMAN

SO, young women are getting fatter. Apparently. I pondered this fact as I stood in line at Gloria Jean's waiting to place my order for a hot chocolate. It was 5.30pm and the place was packed with caffeinated people in their teens, 20s and 30s. Dozens of young women clutched milky coffee drinks the size of their heads, frequently topped with whipped cream and caramel sauce.

When did a cup of coffee become as fattening as an entire meal? Oh wait, it's not fattening, really, because one of the laws of female diet logic is this: there are no proper kilojoules in anything you drink from a cup. Or even a bucket.

Other ways to slash the kilojoule count of food is to consume it while at the movies or watching TV. Same with reading while you eat. And it's common knowledge that anything you scoff after a few drinks (or midnight, whichever comes first) doesn't count. If you can't remember eating it, it may even have a negative kilojoule value. How handy is that?

But surely not even these dietary delusions can account for the full five kilograms the average Australian 20-something female put on between 1996 and 2003, say federal Health Department data from a recent study on women's health.

Are young men putting on weight at a similar rate? I doubt it. Men eat for far less complex reasons than women. Like, say, hunger. I don't know many guys who reach for muffins when they're sad, bored, angry, frustrated, lonely or depressed. Beer, possibly. Muffins, nup.

To be fair, eating is not the only way women deal with emotional turmoil. We also talk things through at length with our closest friends. While eating, usually. When a girlfriend loses her job or her heart, we're just an SMS away with sympathy, pizza and wine. Same goes for pretty much any other sad or celebratory occasion. And since your 20s are emotionally volatile years, that's a lot of pizza.

Food is intrinsically linked to female bonding. We meet for coffee and cake, for cocktails, for girls' dinners and for nights in with DVDs and chocolate.

But food is also a tool some women misuse to block feelings. Constant pigging out can be as unhealthy as starving yourself; they're just different types of food abuse. Let's not pretend that scoffing a box of Krispy Kremes is empowering. It's not.

"Some young people use food to fill the hole in their soul, the spiritual anorexia they feel every day," notes leading adolescent psychologist Dr Michael Carr-Gregg. "If you have nowhere to stand emotionally when things get tough, then stuffing your face is like a gastronomic remote control an easy quick fix. But the effect is transitory and leaves you wanting more."

Then there's the evil twin of overeating: diets. Ironically, fad diets can be a huge cause of weight gain. And the Instant Gratification Generation is particularly vulnerable to the lure of the quick fat fix.

Nutritionists say the faster you lose weight, the more likely you are to regain it with extra kilos on top. Years of crash dieting will not only leave you heavier than you were when you started, but also the famine-feast cycle it triggers can do nasty long-term things to your metabolism.

The alternative, of course, is to cook regular healthy meals. But that would mean shopping for fresh ingredients, dragging them home and then poaching, baking and stir-frying them into a balanced meal. If only we had the time.

Kicking goals at uni or the office and juggling kid/career demands mean women are putting in longer hours than ever before. Something's gotta give. Increasingly, that thing is meal preparation. Some of us have been known to eat breakfast cereal for dinner. Canned tuna is popular. Takeaway is our friend.

Other possible reasons we may be getting fatter? How about the celebrities who lie about their diet and exercise regimens. Big points to those like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas and Gwen Stefani who admit how hard they work to stay in red-carpet shape. But many other glamorous chicks say things like this when asked the secrets to their impossible bodies: "Oh, I eat cheeseburgers 24/7 and I'm allergic to exercise. I just have a really fast metabolism!"

Years ago I interviewed a Hollywood trainer who complained about one skinny star notorious for saying this stuff. He was employed by the producers of her new action movie to whip her butt into shape so he knew she'd worked like a maniac to lose weight and build muscle four hours a day, six days a week for six months. Then he sees her on the PR trail denying it all and pretending she was born perfect. And Sharon Stone once told a journalist she stays so slim by "laughing a lot". I was seized by the urge to hit her when I read that. Ha ha.

Except the joke is on us because millions of women swallow this spin and think: "Gee, maybe I, too, can replace the gym with some energetic giggling pass that Kath & Kim DVD and another Mars Bar!" If only.

Mia Freedman's book, The New Black, is out now.

Dirty diversion

Have you noticed that obscene phone calls have become almost extinct? At first I thought it was because of caller ID, which makes it harder to be obscene and anonymous at the same time. But perhaps it's because the people who get their sexual kicks from odd things like this now have a world of diversion available on the internet. Another win for technology, I say.

... to this, perhaps?

Pay TV channel of the week: the Fashion Channel. Don't assume it's just for chicks. Nuh-uh. It's right up there with the sports channels as entertainment for blokes who have worked out that catwalk models never wear bras and often don't even wear tops.

© 2005 Sun Herald

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